Stop comparing yourself to others
An important lesson learnt during this negativity experiment is how harmful it is to compare myself with others.
It is a painful habit. Why do I keep on doing it?
We are bombarded with messages such as: “Be yourself”, “Live your own life”, “Do it your way”, and so on. Okay, great, but how?
An idea: dial down the noise.
The Internet is a powerful noise amplifier. One big mistake is to believe that we can ignore the noise. I can't. I need to turn it off.
LinkedIn and Mastodon are the only social media I use, and I spend less and less time on them. As I read about the struggles some people had gone through with social media, I'm glad I stayed away from it. Social media is mostly noise.
Family, (IRL) friends, colleagues might also contribute to the noise. Don't turn them off permanently, but it is okay to mute them sometimes. Give yourself the space to look at your life with some perspective, without the pressure from others and the world.
As the noise goes down, I find myself less prone to chase absurd goals frantically. I care less about what other people have achieved in their lives, I'm even genuinely happy about it. I don't have this constant need of feeling special. Being the number one (in whatever category I'm interested at the moment), for what? what does that even mean?
Is the voice in my head that says I'm “not good enough” quiet now? Not at all. He sometimes whispers, other times yields at me. I don't fight him anymore, I simply dial down the noise.